After my breakup with a college sweetheart (a relationship I was certain would lead to marriage), I spent nearly two years wandering in what I call my “spiritual awakening through heartbreak.”
I was in therapy, journaling obsessively, recovering mentally, and trying every dating app.
And yet nothing changed for years.
The mistake that was holding me back wasn’t a lack of faith or effort. It was a single, invisible type of baggage that kept my entire energetic system blocked: The Soul Tie to the Past Partner.
How Soul Ties Make You Unavailable
I was physically single, but energetically, I was still wrapped up with my ex.
Every time I thought of him, every time I saw a picture of our old life, or every time I felt a pang of “what if,” I was pouring my energy back into a closed door.
And now, as a certified coach specializing in love that has guided so many on their journey to manifesting their soulmate, I can say this for certain:
The Universe cannot deliver a true soulmate into a heart that is already energetically occupied.
A Soul Tie is not about love; it’s about unresolved energy.
It’s the spiritual thread that keeps a relationship alive long after the physical separation. It’s what keeps you checking his Instagram, or what makes you compare every new date to your old flame.
You are living in the past, and therefore, you are vibrating at a frequency that matches Absence, not Arrival.
How Did I Know I Was “Energetically Taken”?
There was a moment of what I like to call “radical honesty” that changed everything.
I was on a blind date with a genuinely good man, but halfway through dinner, I caught myself mentally comparing his career to my ex’s, his laugh to my ex’s. Basically everything was being seen through the lens of my past relationship.
I simply wasn’t present.
My energy was a fence, and I was holding the gate shut.
I went home and cried, realizing I was using new men as a distraction while my true emotional investment remained in the past.
I was sending the Universe a message: “Thank you for the options, but I’m still waiting for a replay of the past.”
This was not only holding me back, but also incredibly demeaning to all the men I’ve tried dating up until this point. No words could describe the heart-wrenching guilt I felt in that moment of realization.
Unhooking the Past: How I Cut the Cord for Good
When I finally understood that this Soul Tie was a manifestation block, I dedicated myself to Unhooking the Past, a practice advocated by many spiritual teachers because of its profound effect on future love.
Honey, this isn’t an act of anger or rejection; it’s an act of self-love and release. It frees both of you to move forward to your true destiny.
Here a simple, powerful three-step ritual I used that finally cleared the path for James to show up:
1. Acknowledge the Lesson, Not the Pain
Close your eyes and visualize the past partner. Write down five specific lessons that relationship taught you (e.g., “I learned my non-negotiables,” or “I learned how to set boundaries”). Thank the relationship for the gift of those lessons. By shifting from victimhood to gratitude, you energetically neutralize the pain.
2. The Visualization of Release
During meditation, picture a thick, glowing cord connecting your heart (or solar plexus) to your ex’s. This isn’t evil or malicious; it’s just energy. Now, without judgment or malice, visualize yourself taking a beautiful, loving, golden sword and cutting that cord clean. Watch the energetic thread retract back into your own body, and watch your ex’s thread retract back into his.
3. Affirmation of Availability
As soon as the visualization is complete, place your hands over your heart and repeat this simple statement seven times: “I am healed, I am whole, and I am now free and available to receive my highest match.”
I didn’t meet James the next day, but within weeks of doing this deep, intentional work, my energy was completely different. I stopped thinking about my past. I stopped checking that profile. I was finally present, whole, and magnetically ready for my future.
And I believe this was crucial to triggering that divine meeting that set me up with him.
Honey, you deserve a love that feels like home, not a constant comparison to a closed chapter. It’s time to gather your energy back and open the door for the divine partner who is already looking for you.
I’ve packaged the entire battle-tested process I used—including the exact cord-cutting script and my step-by-step process for shifting your self-concept—into a free guide.
🗝️ Your Free e-Guide: The Soulmate Magnet
Stop searching and start knowing. Download my 5-step checklist to learn how to clear your energetic blocks and step into the clarity needed for true love.
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